| 420 chat line fiend
June 7, 2006
by potsmokingGOD
Fine! I’ll admit it -- I’m a chat-aholic -- that’s right -- a personals junky, a flip flappin’ 420 chat lines fiend. I wake up and breathe air into my lungs just so I can come online to meet people, swear to god. I chat when the sun comes up,... |
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| 420 Relationship Advice - Signs of AttractionYou’ve searched far and wide; been to ever bar and grill, hit all the dating sites, all the free personals, sex personals, you name it. Even gave speed dating a go. Then – BAM -- you find her -- weren’t even looking. There she is… the apple of your eye, the love of your loins, that special someone that god hand picked to walk the earth with you, hand in hand, in perpetual bliss, to death do you part. Congratulations, you’ve officially been smitten! There’s one problem: you don’t know if your newfound joy shares your newfound lustfulness …I mean love. It’d sure be nice to know if your potential soul mate to be, has taken one right in the heinie by ol’ cupid (of course, I’m referring to getting shot in the backside with an arrow.)
Fret not Romeo, there’s hope. Though, the law of attraction may not be exact science. Turns out women, and men for that matter, use body language to convey physical signs of attraction, or lack of, for the opposite sex…or same sex.
But be warned, taken individually they may signify nothing more then innocuous gestures of friendship. Instead look at the big picture. Also, mood affects body language; don’t expect a warm smile after someone has just been fired.
She loves me…the match that sent the heavens ablaze
1. Smile of an angel: Look for a nice, open, pearly white smile. The infamous close-mouthed, just-wanna-be-nice-person smile doesn’t cut it. If you both lock eyes and then she flashes a grin, chances are she’s being friendly; then again, it could be she doesn’t sport the best porcelain, either. Now then, if she shows her teeth and the corners of her eyes wrinkle, then that’s an authentic smile. Make your move, chump.
2. Eye contact: mesmerized, would be an ideal way to describe it, but hopefully it doesn’t look like she’s giving you the hundred-yard stare. Her head might be slightly tilted to the side, while she simultaneously glances at you with a coy, puppy dog look; u-h-h-h, how cute. She’ll also keep eye contact slightly longer then normal. If you’re close enough you might notice her pupils dilated and/or her eyes glittering. Also, be on high alert for fluttering eyelashes.
3. Fondling objects:
While talking, she plays with her keys or she caresses the Mike’s lemonade bottle she’s holding. Go ahead and put something in her hand; not that idiot, you’ll end up in jail.
4. Mirroring: She mimics your body language and/or tone of voice. For instance, you have your arms crossed; she has her arms crossed. You tell stupid joke; she tells stupid joke. You whisper sweet nothings, she whispers sweet nothings. You fart, hopefully she doesn’t. You get the point, I hope.
5. Exposing flesh: If she’s really interested and you’re really lucky she’ll show skin. A very good sign that she’s digging you is revealing her palms and wrists. If she’s sitting down she might lift her skirt so you can see her legs. She might repeatedly slip off-‘n’-on one of her shoes.
If you’re already in conversation it’s a very good sign if she leans in and then touches your arm or hand… or thigh; if she does, you might as well pack it up and call it a night chief because you’ve just been infected with O.N.S.S (One Night Stand syndrome); that’s a good thing, depending on your point of view, of course.
6. Playing with her hair: perpetually twisting a lock of hair around her thumb and index finger, tucking her hair behind her ears, running her fingers through her hair (her hand will always be moving in your direction) are all positive indications that she’s interested.
7. She hates me lots…the long, hard road down purgatory lane
8. She avoids physical contact: Damn, you thought you licked that episode of bird flu; wrong, she thinks you still have it. A clear cut sign there’s nothing between you and her(from her perspective anyway) is when she avoids touching you. If she stands far away, or leans away with her arms folded, you know – I mean you absolutely know – it’s time to look elsewhere.
9. She turns her back: if she turns her back to you, especially if she turns her back and then starts giggling; put bluntly, you made a total ass of yourself by walking over and saying hi. Take my advice and save face; walk away. But before you do, tell her you mistook her for an old winch you knew back in high school and that you were just trying to make her feel better by saying hello. Then run! These types of situations can be turned around, but that’s for the pros, sorry son.
10. A look Satan would envy: what does narrow eyes, tripwire lips, and folded arms and legs have in common? They’re the hallmarks of “don’t bother me, blow off jerk”. It’s Time to move on to the next victim.
11. See why thousands choose to search for their soul mate online. Join the hip, date spot, dating online free, today!
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